The Disillusioned Frog

One day while I was working, a stranger walking his dog approached me as I was busy unboxing a fridge. He began telling me about how the logo on our company vehicle reminded him of his son. This stranger went on and on for quite awhile about his son, who was apparently quite the nerd. I tried my best to remain as attentive as possible as I continued to work.  Then he dropped the bomb. "He committed suicide about three months ago, now. I've been seeing counselors this whole time, and it took me this long just to get comfortable with talking about it." I didn't know how to react, but I guess my response wasn't necessary because he continued regardless. "I didn't know what he was planning at the time, but he called me up that day to wish me well, and told me he'd see me on the other side." I imagine he wanted some reassurance that he would see his son again someday, but the best I could offer was an apology, "I'm sorry." I...

Last week, I wrote about how my wife finally came to learn that I was no longer a believer in God, but I didn't go into too much detail about what happened immediately after that. I love her, but her immediate conclusion was, "you're  probably just depressed." I tried to persuade her that this wasn't the case, but she scheduled me an appointment to see a doctor anyway. Now, let me remind you that I moved my family clear across the country to the heart of the Bible Belt. Because of this, the majority of doctors here are Christians. The majority of everyone here are Christians. So, I went to see this doctor and explained everything to him. Of course, he opened up to me about his faith, but in the end, he agreed that I didn't seem depressed, just going through something that may be considered depressing. However, to appease my wife, he offered me a list of counselors he recommended in the area, so I could get a counselor's opinion, too. Agai...

So, there I was, suddenly awake. Regularly attending church. Going to small groups. Volunteering on Sundays. Surrounded by christians. In the middle of the Bible Belt. Great. Now what? I simply no longer belonged here. I was no longer a christian. I was a freethinker. An agnostic. An... Atheist. It was weird to think that was the right word for me. It always seemed to carry such a negative connotation. But it was accurate in the literal sense. I didn't believe in a god. I was no longer a theist . It was that simple. But could I explain it to others? Would they understand me? Would they even listen? Or would they simply reject me? I began to think back on multiple conversations I had with my wife, Meredith, in our early years. I remembered when she would confess that one of the main reasons she was even interested in dating me was because she learned that I was a christian. I remembered several conversations about how important that was to her, and about how, even thou...

Last week I explained how at the end of a gradual process, I came to the realization that I no longer believed in God. However, I still had one last hurdle to leap, the one I think most doubting Christians stop at. An argument  commonly refe rred to as "Pascal's Wager." In short, the argument is often summed up by Christians as, "it is better to live as if God exists and find out he doesn't, t hen to live as if he doesn't and find out he does." Essentially, if you give up on your faith, you are at a greater risk. If you are wrong, you risk going to Hell and suffering for eternity. Looking back, it is easy to see why many Christians will stop there and turn back, rather than take that last step toward freedom. The argument is built entirely on fear. It's a last-ditch scare tactic, designed to reign people in and make those who refuse to accept God appear foolish. After all, they must not be thinking rationally if they are willing to risk eternal...

I don't actually believe that belief is a choice. Even the Bible is (not very) clear on this. Let's go back to a bible verse I referenced last week: "For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast."  Ephesians 2:8-9 According to this verse, you did not choose to have faith. You did nothing. God graciously gave faith to you. Still don't believe me? Check the list of gifts of the Spirit starting with 1 Corinthians 12:8. Faith is mentioned specifically in verse 9. So, even by Christian doctrine, one can't just choose to have faith. God chooses whether you will believe or not, which determines whether you will go to Hell or not. Your fate is entirely in his hands. You can do absolutely nothing about it, even if you wanted to. Think I'm just taking the Bible out of context? Think you can still choose what you believe in? Let's have a simple test to see whe...

You must not really know me if this is the conclusion you have to jump to. I read an Apologetics Study Bible. I checked every footnote. I researched. I went to two different churches for awhile. I went to Bible study groups. I hosted a church group in our home. I once tried to rewrite the gospels in chronological order. I understood that the only way to be saved was by God's grace, through faith in Jesus Christ. And that this was a gift from God, not by ourselves or from any of our works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9, John 3:16-17). But I also understood that faith without works was dead (James 2:14-17), not because works are important for salvation, but rather because those who believe will be compelled into action. I was no baby Christian. But, in order for me to believe anything , I have to be able to make sense of it, and I genuinely believed in Christianity for years. If something didn't make sense to me, it would nag at the back of my mind and cause me t...